We have many friends and family who are missing someone around their table this year. Some have lost a family member recently. Others are praying to pull up a high chair in the next 9 months, yet the seat sits empty. In this special time of year where family gathers together, how do you 'enjoy' it? How do you not notice that someone is obviously missing? Or the thing you have hoped and prayed for is not there, once again. That empty chair is a constant reminder. No presents have their name. No phone calls, no pictures, no positive pregnancy tests.
Please know that if these speak of your circumstances, current or past, there is hope. It is my circumstance. It is my husband's. It is my families. It is my close friends'. We live in a world where babies do not always go to deserving parents, where parents do not get to see their children get married or become parents themselves. Satan, in this broken world, shines a bright light on that empty dinner seat or those newborn clothes that go unoccupied. He sneers, points, and condemns. Why aren't you good enough to have a baby? Why didn't you do more to keep them around? If you would have done this or that, he or she would still be here. You would get the very thing you want. We feel entitled to what others have or envious and bitter of their full tables with many seats.
So, come celebrate the season of perpetual hope with me won't you???? Ridiculous, right?! The singing of each Christmas carol reminds us that one voice is missing. The screams of relative's children screams in our hearts that we can't have any children. Where is the hope in that?
May I offer a different perspective. I cannot answer the "why me?" or "how come?" because I, myself, ask the same things each day. I can, however, offer Jesus. Jesus, in his hay bed whose parents had wonderful dreams for him. Jesus, who was a friend to many and a great story teller. Jesus, who's death was mocked over and jeered at. Yes, we have heart ache and extreme loss, but Jesus' death covers that. Claim that in his name, friends. Remind yourself daily if you must, but when you see the empty chair, claim Jesus. No, it isn't fair, but neither was an innocent man dying for yours and my sins.
I recently read Max Lucado's "You'll Get Through This". One of his friends had just lost his child in a tragic accident and he was able to tell Max, "my time with them in heaven will be greater and sweeter than my time with them on earth." (very paraphrased) God is just getting started with their eternity and you will be a part of that someday. One day, we will spend forever with our creator and those who have gone before. Does that mean this first Christmas alone will be joyous? Not likely. Grieve, folks. Lay it out their for your God. He can handle it. As Max says, "it won't be fun or easy, but you will get through this."
My hope and prayer for you is that you can shift your eyes from the emptiness to the abundance in heaven; the riches He has in store. Run to the Father as he promises a full table someday with old friends, dads, moms, grandparents and newborns. You will get through this.
Hug your kids and read them a book friends ;)
