Thursday, September 5, 2013

Baby Steps

No, Liam isn't walking, but we do feel he will walk before he crawls.  The boy loves to stand! 

So, the other night, Liam got up, yet again, in the middle of the night sort of cooing and baby talk.  As in, "I'm not really awake, but I'm going to keep you guys up until you get me."  He's been doing really well (sleeping 9 pm-7:30 am most nights), but occasionally he pulls this 1 am stuff.  Or he gets up at 5 am...woof.

However, this night, we had both just fallen asleep and he really shouldn't have been hungry.  Either way, we were up.  Nathan was very frustrated, as was I and after listening to him babble for 30 min, we went in there and changed his diaper and finally I told Nathan I had it and to go back to bed.  There's nothing worse than an exhausted, cranky parent at 1 am.  And I'm really speaking for both of us at this point but instead of creating a fight, I sent him to sleep.  Plus, I would probably lie awake, hoping they were both doing ok. 

I fed Liam and then tried to get him back down which turned into a 45 minute escapade of rubbing his back, rocking him, shushing him, etc.  As I was standing there, nearly falling asleep on the crib, I had a thought....

I've come a long way.  Yes, I still get frustrated at times as a mom and it's still so so hard some moments.  But I read recently that little ones struggle with sin just as adults do.  So when he or my niece or nephew, who are much older, act out or behave in a way us parents get so angered by, we must remember that they too are dealing with their sin.  They just don't know that's what it is.  Liam is not trying to make us miserable or lose sleep, he's just awake.  The Lord has certainly changed my perspective and turned it into one of compassion and patience.  I didn't want to be awake at 1 am.  I didn't care to be awake for 45 extra minutes waiting for my son to fall asleep which he can readily do on his own, but God showed me that this was an opportunity not everyone gets: one to share with my son in the middle of the night, with no one else around.  When gets upset, cries, or is cranky, I find myself feeling bad for him and asking what's wrong instead of being so angry that he's not an angel baby or a textbook baby. 

So again, I know harder days are coming (toddlers anyone?!) but the Lord has already softened my heart towards my little guy.  He will always deal with sin on this earth and though I wish I could change that for him, I am thankful that Jesus offers us grace we don't deserve.

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