Dear Kelli,
From someone who knows and has been there, I want to tell you some things about your life coming up. Relax, don't stress out. You'll be fine, but I do want you to listen to me for a few minutes.
You're probably sitting on your bedroom floor, listening to music like Britney Spears and wearing a hoodie and loose jeans. Comfiness was always priority one for you. Except leggings are more fashionable these days. Invest in some and keep them! And your shoes. Despite what anyone, including dad or your future husband say, keep all of those shoes. You will wear them all...someday.
Keep reading your Bible. All those Friday nights you stay home to play the piano and read your Bible may be lonely, but they will be the backbone for your adult life. Read and highlight. Memorize. You think you don't have time now??? Wait until you have a kid and a job and a spouse. You won't read as much and you definitely will not be playing an instrument for fun. So do it now. Teach yourself to be alone and enjoy it.
When your brothers are home from college, ask them to play a game or just sit and chat. Time and years may separate you, but they have always been your friend and biggest ally. They don't have to say 'I love you' for you to know it. And call them more often when you're older. You can learn from them, their mistakes, and their experience. Don't let petty differences come between you. Laugh with them. And even though you don't have to say it, say 'I love you' often.
Pay attention to your dad. You and mom have always been tight, but when he takes the time to look at you in face and hug you and impart on you some wisdom, please LISTEN. You won't have that voice forever. Don't roll your eyes. Really pay attention to how he shows his love for you. He does it in subtle ways, but they are HIS ways. You'll learn more about his life and how he grew up in a few years, and that will make you appreciate his efforts even more. He tries so hard. And he fails, you know this. But give him grace.
Watch your mom as she is a spouse and a mom. How she takes care of EVERYTHING. Her servant heart. Take mental notes. Remember that she fails too, but she really does have it together. And when you're old enough and have your own family, write her and tell her. Don't just tell her in fact, tell the whole world.
Study, practice, train, and work hard, not because you can slack off later, but because those efforts will keep you hard-pressed and driven towards your goals in life. Set goals and write them down. What do you want for yourself? Don't just spin your wheels.
Running in volleyball IS NOT THAT BAD and you will survive. There will be much harder things to come. In fact, don't cross running off your list of things to try later on =)
Just because you have no clue how to wear makeup or do your hair doesn't mean you are any less than anyone else. Please stop self criticizing yourself! Wear what you want and be proud. Be YOU. But don't be afraid to dress up and BE CONFIDENT! Your friends are gorgeous, but that doesn't mean that you aren't too. Believe this, please! You are beautiful. And that's it....please ACT like that every once in awhile. Just because the 'hot guy' doesn't notice you doesn't mean that the RIGHT guy won't someday. Easier said than done, but TRUST ME. He's out there. And he will absolutely adore everything about you. Even your random singing. Well, he may hate it, but he will look at you like you've never been looked at before. And he will be everything you wanted and nothing you thought you deserved. But you do deserve it. All of it.
You aren't fat, sloppy, disgusting, ugly or any other word you feel you are. I know you're probably sucking in your stomach right now, but don't! Your stomach is fine and no one cares how you look in a bathing suit anyways. You know how everyone comments on your dad's huge calves?! Well, you get those from him and you will get the same comments. Own them.
You have great friends and most of them will still be your great friends in 20 years. Hold on to them. Talk to them on the phone, weekly. They will mean more to you as adults than now. Visit them, tell old memories, and laugh. Laugh a lot. Life's too short not too.
Do not lose your faith. Do you hear me??? I know you think you have faith and right now, it's God coming through on a date for you for Homecoming or faith that you will get into a good college. Those are both good things to involve God in, but I'm talking real, gut-wrenching faith. You don't have it, let's be real. You haven't had too. Your life has really been a breeze. But there is a blow coming. A hit that you can't prepare for, and you will question everything you believe in right now. You will question God's goodness. You will cry, be angry, and not understand why. You will hurt and ache. I hate to tell you because this isn't fun, but you may never understand why. You are a fixer and a doer, but there may never be an explanation for some bad things coming.
Have I gotten your attention yet? Have I depressed you enough for the next few years?? Please hang on and give me a few more moments....
BUT, and this is a HUGE BUT.....Stay the course. Choose joy when you can. Look for the evidence of goodness. Remember that highlighted Bible? Keep it and turn back to those pages. Call your brothers. Visit your friends. Chat with your mom. And lean on that one guy I told you about. You will smile again. You will smile A LOT again. God has big things in store for you, sister. Great things, that right now, you think you're not qualified for, or strong enough for or smart enough for. But YOU ARE. I would tell you to not listen to those nay-sayers but they have always been in your own head anyways. So, just like dad would say, 'Smile every once in awhile.' You will be fine. You'll be better than fine.
I hope you know you are loved so very much. You are perfect because of who you are and whose you are. Remember that. Ya know how I told you to really listen to your dad? He had a few other tips that will be life-savers that I will leave you with: 1. Share your faith 2. Call your parents & 3. Always wash in cold water. I'll let you decide which is most important. Love you girl, and keep on keeping on.
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