I've been struggling recently with a lot. Wondering if I'm in the right profession, why God has me where he has me, am I just spinning my wheels or am I going somewhere, and missing my dad along the way. I sometimes feel like I am in a depressed stage of my life. Not really depressed, but in a funk. I cried everyday to work this week for various reasons and I can't get a stronghold on what God wants me to hear, learn, ask, do, etc. I have asked many for prayers and I know they are people I trust and are holding me up during this time, so I thank those of you for that. These people have also given me exceptional advice and scripture that has simply penetrated my heart recently. I find that as I ask God and seek him and question him some too, he punches me in the gut with songs, verses, stories, etc. For instance, there is a song that I'm really diggin on the radio and it is never played on Joy FM. Well, in the past week, I've probably heard it 3-4 times. And I've been focusing on Philippians 4:6-7 and I heard someone on the radio say it was there go to verse as well. Little things like that have been happening left and right. Through it all, I've been asking God for help and for opportunities. Not any specific help just help. God knows what I need, and I find he reveals himself to me when I am open and honest before him.
Through this time, I've found words and pieces of encouragement that I have truly gotten me through the days. Maybe you are going through something rough right now and you think no one is there. Or you don't see the light that God promises. Or you wonder if he truly does know best. I believe and can attest that he does but that doesn't mean my faith hasn't been trembling sometimes. Here are little nuggets of truth to help you that I have received or found in letters in the past few days....(identities remain anonymous to protect the innocent=)
**God's timing is perfect and God works for the good of those who love him.
**Use this time as being "on the anvil". God is shaping you and refining you for his purpose and for something great.
**Remember, God's time table usually is not close to our idea of when things should happen. You learn patience, trust, develop a deeper faith in God and His plan as you wait. Just be true to your belief in God's plan and will for your life. Try not to dwell on day-to-day feelings and changes....it is a journey with many side roads and small steps but keep your face and heart and soul pointed to Jesus. Trust and let Jesus comfort and encourage you.
**Challenge yourself to be better everyday - in your classes, in your dealings with others and in all of your decisions. Continue to display and use your strong faith in God-he has given you so much and remember of those that are give much-are asked much. Share your faith, you'll know when and where.
I hope these few thoughts help you in your journey and I have to admit, 3 of the 4 of these are from my family members. God has truly blessed me! Another side note, I ran this morning and really just poured out my heart to God. I talked to him like I would talk to you. Told him what I thought was crappy and what I'm thankful for and again, asked for him to hear me and for help. I also like to talk to my dad when I run. I promised him before he passed away, that I would talk to him so he'd better be with me. As I sat to write this before church today, I compiled all my advice in letters and in my brain and a random thought (how could I ever forget this) came into my mind. My dad's very last piece of advice for me was one word: PATIENCE. I was immediately overcome with emotion and a sense of release. Through all of scripture and my friends/family's advice, one word did it. Patience. Patience, for good things are coming. Patience, God is right where he wants you. Patience. Dad knew I would need it.
If I had to pick a verse for the day, here it is:
Colossians 1: 9-13
9 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,[a] 10 so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[b] to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.